The Birth of Nina Elsabe Beyleveld
I knew that I had to do things differently than I did with my first birth. After a horrible first hospital birth (unplanned c-section after failed instrumental intervention), I wanted to trust my body and be in control of my labour, birth choices and my baby’s birth. Birthing our baby girl at home felt like the safest and best option for us, especially with our toddler who has never before been away from us for an evening. Having done a Hypnobirthing course during Nina’s pregnancy I understood exactly what was needed from me to birth my baby – I had to be calm, relaxed, and full of Oxytocin. Being at home, birthing close to my older baby, not needing to worry about leaving him made me feel all the things I had to feel to make this work.
In 2018 I had Blake at Chelsea & Westminister hospital, and at my birth trauma debrief a few months after his birth they mentioned how I would be favourable to have a VBAC, but only on the labour ward in hospital, where I would be strapped down on a hospital bed being continuously monitored – no birth centres, no birth pools, no freedom of movement. From deep delving into research I knew that VBAC’s are most successful when physiological birth is supported – meaning the woman is allowed to tune into her instincts, she is allowed to listen to her body and her baby and to act accordingly, being able to move, and breathe, and sway, and eat. I would not be able to have my physiological VBAC under their care and decided to plan a Home Birth for my second baby instead. I made my first appointment with Maria, the head of the Home Birth Midwifery team in our area. She and her team of 3 other wonderful midwives never once made me question my ability to naturally birth our baby at home. They supported me through and through and believed in my body and baby. I felt safe, excited and deeply cared for.
I found Hypnobirthing in preparation for my VBAC so unbelievably informative and empowering! The understanding and knowledge of how birth works, and what my rights and options were made all the difference. I declined all unnecessary obstetric appointments as I decided that however our little girl was coming into this world, that I would be the one to choose how and where it happens. I did not make myself available or susceptible to any scare mongering or unnecessary over medicalised influences.
On the morning of the 29th I lost my mucus plug and excitedly phoned my husband to tell him that we would be meeting our baby within the next day. I lost my plug on 40+3 days with our son and went into labour a few hours later. When I lost my plug on 40+3 days again I just knew that it was time. I spent the rest of the day enjoying alone time with Blake, bonding with him, taking loads of pictures and videos and occasionally having a little cry while we had a potential “last” cuddle with him being my only baby. When my husband came home from work we gave Blake a bath and I put him to bed, telling him that he would meet his baby sister in the morning.
Not having had any contractions yet we went to bed at 11pm. At 11:35 I had my first twinge. That familiar sensation that builds up in intensity as a wave does just before it breaks and dies back down again. My husband helped me with my TENS machine and off he went to get the pool filled up and everything else ready, while I started timing my surges. One hour into labour I realised that I was in established labour, having a contraction every 2-3 minutes. I then sent Maria, my midwife, a text giving her a heads up and she replied saying to give her a call once I felt that I needed her. I pottered about listening to my Hypnobirthing scripts while breathing through my contractions until my husband pointed out and suggested that I give Maria a call as he noticed how close together the surges has become. I still felt in control and unbelievably calm and comfortable. It’s amazing how manageable the contractions were at home compared to the unbearable pain I experienced with Blake’s labour in hospital. Understanding the surges and accepting them for the good that they do was invaluable!
My midwife arrived at 02:15 and her presence was so comforting. She told me to go for a wee and to get into the pool if I felt that I wanted to. I asked if she wanted to do an internal examination and she said that it wasn’t necessary. She trusted my instincts just as much as I did. As soon as I climbed into the birth pool things changed. The warm water felt amazing and my husband took a cup and poured it over my back with every surge, but shortly after getting into the pool my waters broke and the surges intensified as they started to feel “pushy”. I gave into them and followed my body’s lead. I could feel our baby’s head descending down, but after every surge she was slipping back up again, which made me question myself for a moment. I had a bit of a wobble asking Maria what I was doing wrong alongside a few primal sounding surges. She reassured me that our baby is well on her way, listening to her heartbeat telling me that we have a very happy baby and that she’s just finding her way through my pelvis which can be a little tricky. Even tough I had a baby before, I didn’t experience the second stage of labour with his birth and I remember this as being the most intense part for me. With a huge amount of effort I was dripping with sweat, trying to help her navigate my nooks and crannies, moving instinctively, actively trying to breathe her down. The second midwife arrived just as I finally felt her pass through my pelvis, and once I felt her head starting to crown I slowed down and stopped bearing down. What an absolute intense and powerful feeling! Her head slowly being born while my birth team held space for us, ever so slightly verbally supporting me. After the birth of her head I stopped and waited for the next surge to come, completely in awe of her being in two worlds at the same time. With my last surge I gave a little push and out came the rest of her beautiful, perfect (not so little 4,41kg) body.
Our sweet Nina was born at 04:18am while her big brother slept soundly in his room. I felt overjoyed (and a little exhausted), but just in awe of the amazing team Nina and I made without anyone questioning my abilities to give birth to her. The two of us guiding and supporting each other instinctively.
My second stage of labour lasted 41 minutes, and I had a physiological third stage of 48 minutes. Our angel midwives emptied the birth pool, finished up their paperwork while I comfortably cuddled my baby on the couch – in our own space, totally at ease and so completely in love and proud. They left just in time for Blake to come downstairs, where he met his baby sister while having his breakfast.
Nina’s birth taught me to trust myself and my intuition, that knowledge is power. That our babies know exactly what is needed to be born, just as we instinctively know how to grow and birth them.
I am forever changed, and I will be forever grateful.”